How to mourn a loss? I typed that hoping that the World Wide Web in all its wisdom had figured out a way to help me deal with what i’m going through, a secret recipe, add a pinch of cinnamon to your morning coffee, a cheat sheet, a mascara with a magic wand to fix all the unfixable and even your lashes available today for 20% off, a way to process all of this.
Turns out that the spoonful of sugar only gives you diabetes and it’s not a medicine contrary to what the school nurse might have told you, and I’m not gonna risk trying up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start, I definitely don’t want an extra 30 lives on this planet..
Sadly, all the articles referred to the stages of grief and healthy ways to deal with it.
I’m going through all seven stages of grief seven times a day.
What is a “healthy” way to come to terms with the fact that you lost not your home, not your savings, not the years of hard work, not the years you are bound to spend alone, but the fact that you just lost? Wishing to leave is wishing to not see your parents, it’s wishing to be able to provide for them, it’s wishing to be alone when happy and alone when sad, it’s wishing to be a stranger hoping to meet someone that will mess up your name and won’t get your references.
And whether you leave or you stay, you will be a stranger trying to find home and comfort in ceramic coffee cups made in China.
And you will never be home again,
And you will never feel safe again,
And you will never be you again.
Press play.

Stream our Spotify and Anghami Best of 2020 playlists at the bottom of the article.

Dinner Party – Freeze Tag (feat. Phoelix)

This is the Kit – This is What You Did

Jorja Smith – Rose Rouge

Biolay – Grand prix

Nick Mulvey – Begin Again

Fontaines D.C. – I Don’t Belong

Arca – Machote


T Truman – Holiday

Rodolphe Burger – Bleu Bac