Sometimes when you’re holding your mug of hot coffee tight and staring outside your window contemplating the moonlight and rain, a song comes up on the radio and it could drop you deep into the realms of nostalgia and love. This list is not about those songs. This list is about the song that would make you throw your mug at the wall, grab your axe and head out to hunt whoever made you listen to this bullshit one more after years of successfully avoiding them.

Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On 
(The price you’ll pay to see Kate Winslet naked) 

Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You
(here’s the Goat version, because we don’t expect anyone to voluntarily listen to this song in this century anymore)

Englebert Humperdinck – How I Love You
(Your bus driver’s ringtone.. so suck my dinck)

Tony Braxton – Un-break My Heart
(your perverted uncle’s favorite song)

Joe Cocker – You Are So Beautiful
(you probably sent this to someone at some point.. we’re not here to judge)


Rod Stewart – Have I Told You Lately?
(turn off the light, play this song and make out with the to a box of tissues)

Ricky Martin – Nobody Wants To Be Lonely
(we’re not being homophobic here, the song is just horrible)

Enrique Eglesias – Hero
(your childhood crush’s favorite song.. you had to know it by heart)

Goo Goo Dolls – Iris 
(the Nicolas Cage of songs)

Bosson – One In A Million
(If you’re one in a million that means there’s 7125 people just like you)