Team Revolver
No introduction is needed, some guys are f**king annoying for no reason and here are some that went into the rock business:
Chris Martin (Coldplay)
Oh I know, we all love Coldplay and he does so much for fair trade. Maybe. Did anyone notice how he never walks, he only skips? Or how his lyrics are a reason enough to slap someone if they said them to you: “I’m so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you”. Oh, Chris, it’s hopeless to even try.. to fix you.
Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi)
I know ‘It’s Your Life’ but who the f**k lives on a prayer? How is that even possible? You can live on a tree, on an island, on a diet, on a drug, on a Bed of Roses but not on a prayer. You’ll die on a prayer, ask the Afro kids… whatever’s left of them anyway. Not to mention how cocky it is to name your band after yourself. The band should’ve been called: Bon Sambora, Bon Jour is already taken.. and you know, Richie?
Guns N’ Axl Roses
We don’t need a reason to hate on Axl, but we can make one up. He’s a racist and his high pitched shaky voice, is like a headless chicken hauling for breath from that vein popping out of its neck. He can’t sing for sh*t, but he’s pretty good at being a cocky pretentious b*tch. I say that with love… to chicken.
Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)
Here’s an unpublished Newton law of physics: Metal + Rap = Crap. Add to it a sh*tty red cap, a goofy stupid chap, lame boring blab, and no reason to fap. See, I can write better lyrics than him! Keep on rolling, Fred, down the hill and into the distance.
Chad Kreoger (Nickelback)
You know that sound you talk with when you’re swallowing something? That’s Nickelback, Chad is constantly swallowing something. Random Fact: There are more than 3 chords on a guitar.
Bono (U2)
The Oprah Winfrey of rock. Did you know he makes necklaces out of dead African kids’ teeth? Well, he doesn’t but imagine I keep talking all year long how I once gave a dollar to a beggar.. and then I go home and take all the credit for my band’s success. He’s not helping anyone but his ego. And just say “Bono” out loud, it’ll leave a sh*tty taste in your mouth. It sounds like saying ‘boner’ with a boner in your mouth.
Klaus Meine (Scorpions)
His vocal chords are located in his nose. And his head has a funny shape, thus, the funny hat.
Wes Scantlin (Puddle of Mudd)
All he ever wanted to be is Kurt Cobain, so we gave him that pleasure here. Wes, I know everything is so blurry and you can’t really tell, but we all f**kin’ hate you, not just her.
Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Fart)
“He’s a million-selling rock idol who’s also a serious actor known for taking on difficult roles. He’s handsome and soft-spoken, serious and sensitive. He hangs out with hip, famous artists. He directs ambitiously arty music videos under an assumed name.” Gotta give him credit for consistently sucking at so many things at the same time!
Adam Levine (Maroon 5)
I think I’ll vomit if I even try to explain why this m**o is annoying, so just accept it as it is.
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