To commemorate the rapper’s recent death, I decided to watch the last video he released: Self Care. If you think that the title is the epitome of irony since according to news reports, Miller died from an overdose, you have seen nothing.
The video clip for Self Care starts with Miller lying down in a casket (WHAT?!). He then proceeds to take out a cigarette from his shoe and lights it up while talking about self-care because you know, smoking is a good exercise for your lungs.
After chilling in the casket for a few verses, he calls out to his emo fan base by grabbing a knife from his pocket (hint?) but fortunately enough, instead of harming himself he carves memento mori (Latin for “remember death”) on the lid. A few minutes later, we see the tip of a gun with smoke coming out of it (?). Miller finally decides to start punching the casket open and he rises from the ground. Am I the only one getting Kill Bill flashbacks?
BAM! Explosion. The video is then divided into scenes of Mac floating in airy dust with him standing in the middle of the fire explosion. The video ends with Miller standing up with his face down.
Now, I know this could all be just a coincidence, but I’d like to question that and create some mystery. Shall we?
The song talks about self-care, with Miller repeating to himself: “Hell yeah, we gonna be alright”. He also sings about being able to fly home with his eyes closed. There’s reference to medicine and a diss about a lover (Ariana, that’s you girl). Trust issues are also weaved into the lyrics, alongside confusion and oblivion.
Is it a mere coincidence that death is written all over the last video he released before he died? Is it just random that he sang about self-care when, 2 months later, he overdosed? Was it a cry for help? Was it a self-made farewell to his fans? Am I reading too much into it?
Well, conspiracy theories are one of those things we’ll never have a clear-cut answer to, just like the question of whether or not global warming is real.